My Body My Choice (MBMC) Workshop Resources
Taking Care of Ourselves
Grounding techniques
- Can help us manage overwhelming emotions and feelings, especially trauma reminder.
- Practice the exercises we learned:
- Breathing: Inhale and count to 4, hold and count of 4, exhale count to 4, hold and count to 4. Repeat.
- Five Senses: 5 things you can see; 4 things you hear; 3 things you feel; 2 things you can smell; and 1 thing you can taste.
Other ways to take care of yourself
- Sleeping, eating, and drinking water
- Staying active, prioritizing your mental and physical health
- Learning to recognize low moods and feelings
- Seeking support you trust!
- Improving “Resilience”:
- Resilience = the ability to succeed and “bounce back” after negative experiences
- Grounding can make unwanted feelings or a low mood less intense or bothersome in the long-run
- Mindfulness, or learning to sit with emotions, can help shorten the amount of time that you feel down.
- Learning healthy ways to support our mental health when facing real problems is resilience!
Sexuality
Sexuality body parts & gender
- Gender identity is peoples’ inner understanding of what gender they identify with most
- Cisgender = gender feels the same as sex assigned at birth
- Transgender = gender does not feel the same as sex assigned at birth
- LGBTQIA+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual
Vaginal Discharge
- If you’re noticing a change in discharge such as:
- a change in odor, especially an unpleasant odor
- a change in color, especially greenish, grayish, or anything looking like pus
- a change in texture, such as foamy or looking like cottage cheese
- Or notice any of the following:
- vaginal itching, burning, swelling, or redness
- vaginal bleeding or spotting that is not a menstrual period
- It’s important to see your primary care physician or your OBGYN if any of these events occur
Nude Pictures
- If you’re asked to send a nude picture, it’s very important to do the following:
- Talk to your advocate, social worker, housing , or school officials. Ask anyone you inform to keep the information confidential
- Report the image or video to the online platform and inform them that this image is of you.
- You may be entitled to compensation (for injury or loss). Each state has various “restitution” (compensation) laws.
- Contact your dependency or delinquency attorney.
- If you receive these types of pictures from someone else, delete them and do not pass them on.
Relationships and Healthy Sexual Decisions
Healthy Relationships
- Healthy relationships should revolve around: TREO
- T: Trust – Partners trust each other and feel safe in a relationship
- R: Respect – First you respect yourself. Second, you respect each other.
- E: Equality – Partners have equal amounts of power and control in the relationship.
- O: Open communication – Partners talk openly and listen to each other
Sexual safety
- Avoid sharing personal information on social media (e.g. not having a private account, discussing school, house, posting sexual pictures)
- Maintain health relationships (see TREO!)
- Always be aware of your surroundings (your gut feeling is your best friend!)
Boundary Setting & Affirmative Consent
- Follow your instinct. Listen to one another’s words and body language.
- Know yourself and your limits. Express what you like and how you feel.
- Be direct, use assertive communication. Remember, words are easier to understand than body language.
- Healthy boundaries are a sign of self-respect. Respect and observe one another’s boundaries.
- You cannot control reactions, you can only control yourself. If others are unable to respect your boundaries, then it might be time to remove those people from your lives.
Resources for Support
- Open Up! Talk to a mental health provider about your past.
- Get creative and use your words: Writing about trauma reduces stress and boosts your immunity. Writing about difficult, even traumatic, experiences appears to be good for health on several levels – raising immunity and other health measures and improving life functioning.
- Do activities that are good for your mind: grounding techniques, reading, exercise, participate in advocacy groups and peer mentorship.
- If you have experienced sexual assault / violence: Call 911 and visit a medical provider.
- If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual abuse, talk to a trusted adult and/or report child abuse in Los Angeles County, California, by contacting the Child Protection Hotline (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week).
- Toll-free within California, phone (800) 540-4000
- If calling from outside of California, phone (213) 639-4500
- TDD [Hearing Impaired] (800) 272-6699
Consent and Communication
“STOP” Technique
- S: Say “NO” to unsafe behavior. Refuse the unsafe behavior.
- T: Talk openly and often about each other’s feelings. Know that it is okay to change your mind at any point.
- O: Offer explanations. Offer an explanation as to why you want to be safe. This helps your partner understand your reasons and prevents negative behavior.
- P: Provide alternatives. Provide alternatives if you still want to be intimate and have a relationship as long as it can be safe. Alternatives should never be required. IF you refused or do not want to participate in any type of activity that makes you feel unsafe, then you do not have to provide an alternative and that is okay.
Saying “No” assertively
- Send a strong nonverbal “no” with your body language (e.g., use hand and body gestures to emphasize the point).
- Project a strong, serious tone of voice.
- Look directly at the person’s face and eyes and use a serious facial expression.
- Use and repeat the word “no” often. Don’t compromise on your boundaries.
- Be prepared to leave the situation if your refusal isn’t working
How To Make Our Environments/Relationships Healthier
- Avoid being around people and places that practice unhealthy sexual attitudes.
- Explore your feelings and sexual attitudes, then talk to a trusted adult about your feelings.
- Explore healthy sexual ideas and attitudes with others and continue to educate yourself about healthy sex.
- Engage in healthy sex and know that you are valuable, and you (as well as others) have sexual rights.
Pregnancy and your options
Key Facts About Pregnancy to remember
- You CAN get pregnant before you have your first period.
- There’s no safe time of the month to have sex and avoid pregnancy.
- You CAN get someone pregnant the first time you have sex.
- You CAN have children later in life if you have an abortion.
- Two people with the same genitals don’t have to worry about pregnancy, but they do have to worry about STIs.
Pregnancy Options
- Your Options:
- Abortion: Both medication (“abortion pill”) and surgical procedures are effective and safe. A minor (under 18) can have an abortion without getting permission from any adults.
- Resource for those in LA county: http://publichealth.lacounty.gov/owh/Abortion/MultilingualResources.htm
- Adoption: Open or closed. In open adoptions, the birthparent can choose the adoptive parent(s). In closed adoptions, neither the birth parent nor the prospective adoptive parents know each other
- Continuing the Pregnancy: Prenatal care is important; it helps keep you and the baby healthy.
- However, the average cost to have a baby is over $13,000 for the first year, totalling in roughly $233,610 to raise until the child is 18
- Safe Surrender: The Safely Surrendered Baby Law allows you to take an infant to a hospital or fire station within 72 hours of birth, with no questions asked and is completely legal.
- Abortion: Both medication (“abortion pill”) and surgical procedures are effective and safe. A minor (under 18) can have an abortion without getting permission from any adults.
Contraception and Condom Use / Sex
Your birth control options with a prescription
- IUD – does NOT prevent STIs
- Effective for up to 10 years after insertion
- Implant – does NOT prevent STIs
- Effective for 3 years after insertion
- Birth Control Shot, or Depo-Provera – does NOT prevent STIs
- Visit health provider every 3 months for another shot
- Birth Control Pills – does NOT prevent STIs
- Take a pill once a day at the same time
- Birth Control Patch – does NOT prevent STIs
- Replace the patch once a week for 3 weeks and then leave it off for 1 week (the 4th week)
- Birth Control Vaginal Ring – does NOT prevent STIs
- Leave it in for 3 weeks and then take it out for 1 week (the 4th week) to have a period.
- Comparing your BC options: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control
- Note: if your option does not protect against STI’s, you must use a condom as well during intercourse
Protection against STI
- Most BC options for women do not protect against STIs. There are a few OTC options that protect against STIs
- External Condoms – It should be put on the penis as soon as the penis is erect, and removed after ejaculation, away from the partner.
- Correct use of condoms:
- Check Expiration date
- Ensure condom is on proper side
- Pinch the tip
- Add water-based lubricant inside
- While squeezing tip, roll down to base of penis
- Ensure condom does not slip during intercourse
- Immediately after ejaculation, hold firmly at the base of penis and pull out before it gets soft
- Roll condom away from partner & dispose
- Correct use of condoms:
- Internal Condoms – Can be inserted right before sex, or up to 8 hours ahead of time
- External Condoms – It should be put on the penis as soon as the penis is erect, and removed after ejaculation, away from the partner.
OTC method that does not protect from STIs
- Sponge – can be inserted up to 24 hours before intercourse and must be left in place at least 6 hours after intercourse. The sponge should not stay in for more than 30 hours.
- Spermicide – must be reapplied before every act of intercourse to work
Other options
- Abstinence – Not engaging in sexual intercourse of any type (oral, anal, or vaginal).
- Avoid any behaviors that might results in exchange of bodily fluids that can result in pregnancy or can transmit STIs, including HIV
- Not engaging in any skin-to-skin genital touching that could transmit certain STIs
- Emergency Contraception: Plan B – “Morning After Pill”
- To be used as a last-resort immediate back-up plan when contraception has failed
- It is more effective the sooner it is taken. When taken within 72 hours after unprotected sex, it is 89% effective at preventing pregnancy. When taken within 24 hours, it is 95% effective.
Anal Sex
Preparation
- Talk to your partner
- Receive enthusiastic consent
- Buy or have protection ready
- Start small
- Relax and use lube
- Communicate with your partner
Aftercare
- Clean your anus either in the shower or with wet wipes after having anal sex to reduce unwanted bacteria and risk of infections
- Clean all used sex toys with soap and warm water
- Although anal sex is usually not messy, if lube or other bodily fluids wet the sheets, make sure to remove and clean them
- It is normal to feel sore after anal sex and an Epsom salt bath can help relieve some of the muscle soreness
- Talk with your partner about the experience and have an honest conversation about what you liked/disliked
STI prevention
Prevention Options
- Anyone can get an STI. Young people ages 15–24 make up half of all new STI cases. You or a partner can have an STI and not know it. Many people with STDs have no symptoms.
- STIs increase the chance of HIV infection. They sometimes cause blisters or sores on or around the genitals which can become a point of entry for HIV during sex.
- STIs can have serious emotional and physical consequences, including possible death in the case of AIDS and syphilis.
- Some STIs cannot be cured. This includes HIV.
- It’s important that both you and your partner are regularly tested for STIs:
HIV and AIDS
What is HIV and AIDS?
- The immune system is the body’s defense against infections and diseases. HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus. HIV attacks specialized white blood cells and damages the body’s immune system, which normally protects the body from disease. AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. AIDS is the final stage of HIV infection, when HIV has killed most of our immune cells, and our body has become very weak and cannot protect itself. At that time, other diseases and infections can enter the body.
Contracting HIV
- HIV can be contracted by having unprotected vaginal or anal sex with someone who has HIV, by sharing needles, or from mother to child either before or during birth
Protecting against HIV
- Latex condoms offer protection from HIV. Condoms made of lambskin do not protect against HIV because they have pores that are large enough for the virus to pass through.
HIV Treatment
- There is no cure for HIV, but the main treatment for HIV can be started while the person still feels healthy. These options include:
- Antiretroviral therapy (ART): A daily medication for people with HIV that lowers the amount of virus in your body (called your viral load).
- Pre-exposure prophylaxis (or PrEP) = pre-exposure prophylaxis): Is a daily pill that can help prevent HIV. If you don’t have HIV, taking PrEP every day can lower your chances of getting HIV from sex by more than 90%.
- Post exposure prophylaxis (or PEP): PEP is a series of pills you can start taking very soon after you’ve been exposed to HIV that lowers your chances of getting it.
Judgement Impairment
Effects of Substances
- When using substances, impairment can affect sexual consent and judgment. Drug-facilitated sexual assault occurs when alcohol or drugs are used to compromise an individual’s ability to consent to sexual activity. These substances make it easier for a perpetrator to commit sexual assault because they inhibit a person’s ability to resist and can prevent them from remembering the assault
- Consenting and asking for consent are all about setting your personal boundaries, respecting those of your partner, and checking in if things aren’t clear.
- Cocaine causes a brief high that makes the user feel more energetic, talkative, and impulsive which may decrease the likeliness of users practicing safe sex. Cocaine can influence the brain to feel pleasure and happiness, where you otherwise would not.
- Some prescription medications can cause depression, confusion, exhaustion and irritability. And because they work by slowing the brain’s activity, they can slow breathing to dangerously low levels.
- Approximately 50% of reported cases of sexual assault involve alcohol consumption by the survivor, the perpetrator, or both. Though alcohol is involved in a significant number of sexual assaults, a significant portion of drug-facilitated sexual assaults involve other drugs either mixed with alcohol or used alone.
- MDMA is similar to both stimulants and hallucinogens, producing feelings of increased energy, pleasure, emotional warmth, and distorted sensory and time perception.
- Someone cannot give consent if they are on a psychedelic. Altered states of consciousness change a person’s decision-making capacity. Their ability to give full consent is compromised. A person should have time to come down from their altered state experience and become sober before giving consent.
- 60 to 70% of Methamphetamine users reported drug-induced increases in sex drive, fantasies, pleasure, performance, obsession, and unusual or risky sexual behavior.
- For support to report a sexual assault in LA County please use the following resources:
Exploring power and privilege in Relationships
STOP, THINK, ACT technique
- STOP, ACT, THINK technique when engaging in confrontational situations
- STOP = Say no; repeat it; use strong body language.
- THINK = What is the problem? What are my choices? What do I want? What are the possible outcomes?
- ACT = Explain why you don’t want to engage in the sexual activity and offer some alternatives if you feel comfortable doing so.
Dynamics
- Power is the ability to direct, control, or influence others
- Privilege is an advantage or help or extra support that can be used to help oneself and/or other people without the same privilege
- Power and privilege can impact a relationship and these factors, as well as societal factors, could keep someone from leaving an unhealthy relationship.
- It’s important to consider these power and privilege differences when choosing a healthy relationship based on TREO (Trust, Respect, Equality, Open Communication)
Enhancing advocacy and communication skills
tips & tricks
- When you’re talking to your Healthcare provider(s), it’s important to advocate for yourself and your health, while also ensuring you’re comfortable. Here are some tips and tricks to always remember:
- Don’t be afraid to tell the healthcare provider that you feel uncomfortable.
- Make sure to give providers all important information about symptoms or issues regarding why you made the appointment- this will help them diagnose and provide the right treatment.
- Medical professionals must maintain confidentiality as it relates to your health records, they must comply with HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996) standards, meaning your medical information will remain private.
- Providers might assume you know what they are talking about. If something is unclear, ask more questions.
- When visiting providers there might be long wait times. It is better that providers take their time with you and others instead of rushing through appointments. Be patient and find other activities to do, such as reading a magazine or playing a game on your phone.
- Before leaving the clinic, make sure you have their contact information in case you have questions about medications, side effects from the medications, procedures performed during your visit, and/or after-care.